Dead Men’s Teeth and Other Terrible Ideas

Folklore Fails: The Spells, Charms, and Potions That Flopped

Not every spell passed down through the mists of time was a good one. While some ancient charms were rooted in wisdom, herbal lore, and a deep connection to nature… others were just vibes, wishful thinking, or the result of one too many fermented turnips.

Today, we’re cracking open the dusty spellbook of history and shaking our heads at the spells, potions, and rituals that definitely should’ve been left on the cutting room floor. Grab your ethically-sourced crystals, and let’s get into some truly tragic magic.

I. The Dead Man’s Tooth of Invisibility

When your charm calls for “a personal item” and you take it a little too literally.

Origin: Irish folklore

What They Thought Would Happen: If you kept a dead man’s tooth in your pocket, you’d become invisible.

What Actually Happened: You were just someone… carrying around a dead man’s molar.

“Geraldine, where’s Uncle Padraig’s skull?”

“Check Barry’s jacket. He’s trying to sneak into the tavern again.”

No ones entirely sure how this one got started, but someone definitely misunderstood the assignment. Nothing says stealth like jangling jawbone bits in your coat pocket.

II. Frog in a Sock: Curse Removal, But Make It Amphibious

A frog, a sock, and a curse—nature’s least peer-reviewed remedy.

Origin: English folk magic

The Ritual: Place a live frog in a sock, tie it around your neck, and wait for it to absorb your illness or curse.

Modern Equivalent: Therapy. With less squirming.

I’d love to know how many people actually tried this, and how many frogs simply filed workplace safety complaints. It’s unclear whether the frog was supposed to hop away with your problems… or just vibe absorbently under your chin.

“Dave, why’s your neck moving?”

“Oh, don’t worry, that’s my spiritual intern.”

III. Cornmeal in Your Shoes for True Love

The ritual was clear. The results? Mostly just ants.

Origin: Appalachian folk belief

How to Win a Heart: Sprinkle cornmeal in your shoes and walk backwards out of your house.

What You Got Instead: Crumbs. A twisted ankle. Possible exorcism.

Listen, we’re all for love spells. But this sounds less like romantic magic and more like a raccoon’s dating advice. And walking backwards in corn-shoes? That’s how horror movies start.

“I followed the corn and met someone!”

“That’s a possum, Karen.”

IV. Snake Powder for Eternal Youth

Apply generously. Regret immediately.

Origin: Ancient Roman skincare trend

What It Promised: Grind a snake into powder. Apply it to your face. Look younger.

What It Delivered: Smelling like the inside of a haunted boot.

Because nothing says “ageless beauty” like exfoliating with reptile dust. Let’s be honest: if this worked, Cleopatra would’ve had her own line at Sephora by now.

“I use retinol.”

“I use viper shavings and fear.”

V. Sleep With a Skull for Prophetic Dreams

Origin: Various European occult traditions

The Logic: Place a skull under your bed. Commune with the beyond. Get divine guidance.

The Reality: Nightmares, dust allergies, and several stern letters from your landlord.

The skull whispered secrets. Mostly about mould.

To be fair, it’s hard to sleep peacefully with Gary the Grave Goblin whispering stock tips from the foot of your bed. But who are we to judge a little nocturnal necromancy?

“I dreamed I was flying over a great ocean of stars!”

“You fell asleep holding a raccoon skull. That tracks.”

Other Bizarre Beliefs We Couldn’t Ignore

• Sewing your name into underwear to attract a partner (Not bad… just weirdly intimate.)

• Carrying a dried toad in your pocket to cure epilepsy (Again, the toad union is furious.)

• Drinking water from a church bell to stop nightmares (A great way to get tetanus and wake up hydrated.)

When Nature Got It Right

To be fair, not all folklore was bonkers. Many old-world remedies, like lavender for sleep or willow bark for pain relief, actually worked. People were closely tuned to the rhythms of nature, even if they occasionally veered into… reptilian face mask territory.

These days, we like our magic a little more grounded, and our frogs entirely unbothered. Whether you’re crafting spell jars, planting moon herbs, or just basking in the vibe of your mossy shelf, let’s leave the dead teeth in the past where they belong.

Unless you’re into that. In which case… we’re gonna need a different kind of blog.

Magic is a Journey… and Sometimes a Detour

Folklore is a mirror to humanity’s deepest hopes, fears, and questionable skincare choices. Sometimes it’s wise, sometimes it’s wild, and sometimes… well, sometimes it’s a frog in hosiery.